Scientists clueless about vaccine to combat the Corruption Virus of India

Scientists working frantically on developing a vaccine to counter the deadliest virus to have affected the Indian populace at large are now in disarray and on verge of abandoning their research. The pernicious virus is known to cause a peculiar medical condition known as “Honesty Deficiency Syndrome” which causes people to behave dishonestly, show scant respect for Govt property, give a damn about community living, a fat belly and a host of other complications. “Initially we thought that this virus is the same as the one found in poor countries where population is a problem. But this virus seems be to be different and stronger than  the ones found elsewhere” the lead scientist of the study Desperate Danny said. He says that the virus has been resistant to many kinds of treatment and that is what making his team hopeless. ” We’ve tried many things. The Lok Pal Immunization, The Aam Admi Party booster shot, so on and so forth. But none seem to be working” When queried about recent reports of a magical vaccine called “Modi Flex 500 mg” doing the trick, Mr.Danny  was skeptical “The problem with the Modi pill is that it isn’t tested on a wide clinical population. Also, we’ve heard reports from the Congress Medical Institute that this vaccine caused some serious side effects in some minority populations. But we have plans to test this vaccine on a large population in 2014. But the results can only be known by 2019 or so” Mr. Danny categorically dismissed another of our suggestion – “Right to Reject” intravenous injection manufactured by the Supreme Pharmaceuticals “That’s like treating cancer with headache tablets! In fact it will compound the problem by adding additional burden on the patients!” he contended.

Corruption spreading through patient-patient contact!
Corruption spreading through patient-patient contact!

Further explaining the intricacies involved, the scientist continued “We initially speculated that this virus affects only the political class. But soon we realized, to our utter disbelief, that almost everyone, the police man, the Govt officials, the Software professionals, cricketers, the auto wallas are affected by this. Contrary to popular belief that Politics makes people more vulnerable to this disease, we found that the virus was already in people even before they entered politics. It was just in its incubatory period. Symptoms started showing once a breeding ground like Politics was found ”

Many people believe that ancient India was absolutely disease free and this virus has reared its ugly head only after independence and as such we needn’t bother much. But scientists beg to differ. They believe this virus is a just a mutant variation of the same ones that caused widespread epidemics like British Plague, Mughal Pox etc. How else would such disastrous diseases strike in an otherwise healthy population, they ask us.

Some younger scientists in the group believe that they have seen light at the end of the tunnel but that may upend the whole research. One of them concluded our interview with his radical theory “The conundrum here is  that the host body itself is colluding with the virus and hence resisting treatment. So the only hope is for the body to stop providing the congenial atmosphere under which the virus is flourishing. Else, I am afraid, the virus will, along with itself, take the body too, to the death bed.”

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4 thoughts on “Scientists clueless about vaccine to combat the Corruption Virus of India

  1. Initially we thought that this virus is the same as the one found in poor countries where population is a problem. –> I do not care if Danny told it, but you wrote it. You are a poor country hater now! You have no respect for the poor! 😛

  2. Hell we are “like that only”. Reciting ‘Kanakadhara Sthothram’ so that berries made of “Gold” may rain on us one day is not spirituality. Donating part of our ‘black-money’ in a hundi is not devotion. Harassing a child to be like his ‘iit-mba high earning’ colleague’s son is not parental love. Yearning that the rich guy next-door with an imported sedan was our son-in-law or husband are not family values. Envying our rich friend in a villa made of italian marble & imported furniture never mind whether he bribed his way to wealth are not good social values. We are all “colluding with the virus” and “providing the congenial atmosphere” to the virus. Our meaningless lives, neuroses and obsessions are its breeding ground. In a healthy society, ‘freedom from want’ & ‘happiness’ are the side effects of meaningful lives.

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