Bangalore: 26-year old SW engineer Varun Kumar, who constantly dreamt of emulating Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg by starting a company of his own, has just abandoned his dreams in order to focus on a more “important” aspect of his career – Getting a 1 rating in the next year’s appraisal. The young techie’s decision has impressed his higher ups but has sent shock waves of disappointment among his peers and juniors. One disheartened colleague of his, JustMiss Jeetendra explained – “We had pinned all our hopes on this guy. He always used to say that a 9-6 SW job is sick and that we are just minions engaged in boot licking those American Masters. He exhorted us not to run behind money and focus on job satisfaction instead. But now, see what he’s done!” Apparently jeetendra, who had no qualms of working as a
useless mediocre SW engineer, was so impressed by Varun’s words that he too had decided to quit his job of browsing facebook, tweeting random stuff, refreshing cricinfo, watching porn Database Administration at office and do “something” in life like Varun. But Varun’s latest slip has left Jeetendra devastated and in tears.
Employees believe it was Varun’s manager Relax Singh’s stroke of genius that pulled the curtains on Varun’s entrepreneurial ambitions. Relax Singh himself clarified – “You see, this young man has everything in him to become a typical one in a million SW engineer. But he seemed deluded by this I-can-do-anything mantra that these youngsters nowadays seemed to be possessed by. I noticed his ratings for the past 3 years. It was flat 3 all the years. That’s where I realized his problem. I bumped up his rating to 2 this year which resulted in a hike of 0.05% and see the results! His idiotic fantasy of starting a company on his own is now gone! Vanished! Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho! He he he!” When we argued that youngsters like Varun are the ones who are supposed to come up with start ups as is the case in the US and other developed countries, Relax Singh got touchy- “See, those Americans are crazy people! As Indians, its our duty to marry soon and contribute to the Nation.” “Contribute what?” we shot back and “Children!” came the curt reply. When further pressed as what would he do if Varun eventually realized Mr. Singh’s trap, Mr.Singh delivered a googly “I have plan B ready Mister! See, Varun’s been working in an all men’s team all through his career. I’ll just shift him to a team with some beautiful ladies in it! That’s it! Not only his entrepreneurial ambitions, everything will come to a grinding halt! Howzzat?!”
Varun’s close friends revealed that all the money that Varun had once saved to invest in his dream start-up company, has now been diverted to buy a B khata 30×40 site near
some forest Bangalore Airport, just 50 kms away from the city. And that, Varun is now busy running around Govt offices to get his plot converted to A khata.
Finally, we were able to catch up with the man himself, Varun, but only during his lunch break , as he doesn’t entertain anyone during working hours lest he be deviated from his “Go Get 1” mission. When asked to elaborate on his unfortunate decision of giving up his dream, Varun was pragmatic “I think you are confused. I never gave up on my dreams! Its just that they are changed. Getting a 1 rating is no lesser dream!” Varun left us speechless with his concluding remark “I can start a company at any age, any day. But do you think I would be able to afford a BDA site again in Bangalore?”